Ya because money is equal to survival. People perceive us as dangerous threats because we have the ability to make it disappear without hesitation. Sad reality once your gamble free for awhile. Anyone will react angry or discouraged if you take away from a need of theres. That’s probably why we start to feel the despair so deeply. That and the fact we have to start making our own dopamine again. That’s the hard part, some might need meds, others just push through it till the brain starts making its own naturally. That’s where it gets tricky if you have mental health issues like many of us do. Of course the trust issue being broken to is the biggest issue to whom is close to us. Most people if they love you can probably forgive the money part but the lying that’s the end all game. We lie because we no were doing wrong. We’re trying to protect ourselves from the backlash that comes with having an addiction. We’re ashamed so we try to cover up what we’re doing. The manipulation and lying to get money is the worse part. Luckily I only spent my own money but I do understand that obsession to want to find it to keep playing. I think we get angry at people’s reactions to us because it’s that fight or flight response. We feel attacked when we’re already at our lowest. We no that we’ve caused damage and have alot of shame,guilt,remorse. Being constantly reminded of it is hard when your trying to get better and do the right thing. At the end of the day were just humans that have made mistakes and we get to move on. If people in prison can be reformed and brought back into society,forgiven, and aloud to continue there lives the best they can than so can us addicts. We have done some damage but we get a second chance when we make it to the surrendered recovery stage. It’s a messy road but I no we’ll come stronger on the other side. I always say there is a light at the end of the tunnel we just need a bigger flashlight. And with the automatic negative thoughts that’s occur. I call them my “ants” I try to picture myself running around squishing red ants in my brain. I’m an artist so I like visual representations of things and sometimes that helps me visually see what’s going on between the ears.
