Its obsessive compulsive disorder with a smidge of anxiety issues blended in. I am fully aware that I tend towards the obsessive side of the spectrum and I try to balance things as best I can. I’ve been responsible for myself and my environment for so long that I NEED to be a bit on the far side of things in order to feel safe and prepared. For the most part it has worked out for me because I am an incredibly conscientious employee and mother. It doesnt work in some social situations and a few mundane everyday things like having people over to my house. My house is my personal space to me, not just a structure. I need to have a bit more coaxing when it comes to having people over, quite like trying to get someone to have intercourse. I need time. I know it’s most likely a function of abuse,as we have concluded, but it is present nevertheless. Work on it I will when I get the other thing I’m woorking on sorted out.
