I have trouble self excluding from some so they make it so difficult to do it. They make you contact support and when you mention that you want to self exclude they just leave you hanging indefinitely. Then when you do finally get hold of someone again they say it will be for one day and then they will send you an email and then you have to reply to it to make it permanent, but that email never happens. I have, on some that do not have an auto self exclude buttons, put in limits to my deposit at the lowest amount possible. I know that I felt so strong in the morning, I wanted so bad to hit the 7 day mark for the first time in a long time, and I thought that I had it under control. I thought that I could go back to that casino and just get the $75 that they had put into my account. When I saw the games and felt the rush, that was it. I was a goner. The feeling in my stomach of the adrenaline was too much to resist. I thought that I could just play out that money and be done, but I was wrong. The end result is that I am still not as strong as I need to be to be confronted by the temptation at this point. I am an alcoholic 6 days sober who walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink right in front of them. My game plan didnt work this time. I need to adjust my game plans from now on in to include total evasion. I will need to make sure that I do not expose myself to the temptation when I am at my most vulnerable, which is in the morning on my “day off” . Here I sit, at day one again. I am disappointed in myself. I hope that by being honest with you I can no longer hide being at day one again and that my shame will put this failure in the front of my brain. I did not win the fight. I lost. Hard to say to oneself and to others, but in pain I will find strength. Hope you all are strong today.
