Entering day 3 with hope. It’s funny, but the things that most people take for granted as being part of every day life have become things I must make sure to write down and schedule. I put hem in there as road blocks to block me from taking the wrong path again. I try to fill my day with activities that really should just be part of what I do to maintain my existence, but because gambling has taken away my sense of normalcy and inclusion, I feel like I need to write them down to account for my time. I look around me sometimes and see only the people that seem to have it all together. I’m a mess. My house is in disarray and so am I. I stopped taking care of myself when I started this ride to hell and I need to get back to the land of the living. It Is Valentine’s day today and my daughter is celebrating with her new boyfriend. I’ve been married 3 times. I’m good. I dont miss the relationship part of life at this point because I would really have nothing worth offering to anyone else. How could I share with someone when I can’t give myself almost nothing worth taking? I need to be more like the old me, which means tapping into what made me unique and strong. It’s a day for love, and today we should all love ourselves. I know that today I will see lots of people who look like they have it all, but I know, that if you look really close, you will see the cracks, the faults, and In there will lie the truth. I am not alone. There are many who strive to be better, more, happier. Hope everyone is strong today.
