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Thank you so much for your encouraging words, I sitting here literally in tears.
I just want to be normal again, I just want to be able to remove the last 10 years of my life. I am soo tired of always worrying about gambling, worrying about losing all my money.
I have a husband, but he feel like I should be able to just stop. I attended a few GA Mtgs before Covid, but I made the mistake of taking him to my last one. I was too embarrassed to return after that. He was sitting there with his little smug comments, I just wanted to crawl under the table.
I’m an introvert, so I have no circle of friends by choice. I can’t explain it, but I honestly don’t like being around people. I like people, but being around them give me anxiety. I know it sounds crazy, I feel like I’m going crazy daily.
So, this forum is the only place I can talk and be open and not feel judged. I just want to be normal sooo bad again. This disease is so scary, I feel stuck. I just want it all to stop.
I’m not suicidal, even though I think of not wanting to be here if this is my life, daily.

I’m just venting and ranting because I’m feeling so hopeless at this moment.
I know this too shall pass. Hopefully, soon.