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#150138
jvr3419
Participant

Thanks for your kind words losingitslowly. I truly believe you will get through this you have the ability to and I can tell by how you write that your a strong person who has had to fight alot like I have.

Today was a good day for me even though I had some difficult emotions. I went through my storage locker with my ex and got rid of alot of stuff. When I first sold my grandmas house that I grew up in I was an absolute mess hence the gambling problems that came after it. I kept so much shit because I was grieving so hard that I didn’t want to let go of alot of things from that home. After seeing this tenants hoarding problem and my brain having some healthy clarity I new it was time for me to let go of the cluttered mess of stuff in my life. I kept some keepsakes like an antique dresser and my grandpas drafting table as I’m an artist to. But I new I didn’t need all that “stuff”. I have made it very clear to myself that I want to be as minimal as I can because I dont need alot to survive happily. I’ve managed in a trailer with barely anything for along time now so I’m quite happy without being crowded by material possessions.

Today I’m grateful that I feel alot lighter, I’m grateful for spending time with my aunt today and talking with her as she was talking about herself dying soon and I said think of me as my mom ill be with you the whole way through. My aunts been horrible to me in my life but she’s also helped me alot to especially when I was young when my mom died. She’s hard as hell but I never walk away from my family especially when it’s there time to go. I’m grateful I get to be here with her till the end like I was with my grandmother. I’m grateful that I’m not longer in my self centered addiction because I’d be sitting in my own shit feeling sorry for myself instead of being able to have the compassion I do today.