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#151327
velvet
Moderator

Hi Girlfriend

The simple answer to the title of your thread is ‘yes he can change’. The harsh reality is that controlling the addiction to gamble takes courage and determination without any fast relief, there is no magic pill. I will hopefully help you to gain knowledge and to cope with your boyfriend’s problem, while he learns to control it.

This site and others like it, dedicated counsellors and (GA) gamblers anonymous, exist because the likelihood of compulsive gamblers quitting without the right support is almost non-existent. Many feel they can do it alone but I have yet to hear of one being successful. Abstinence alone is not enough.

Please don’t blame yourself that you didn’t see the signs – it is an addiction that thrives on secrecy and your boyfriend would not have wanted you to know. This isn’t necessarily deliberate on his part. Your boyfriend didn’t ask for or want this addiction but sadly, he has it and his poor behaviour shows how little he understands of it.

You would be unwise to believe his words when he says that ‘he won’t do it again because he knows he will lose me?’ At the time he said these words, he would have believed them, it is probably true that he would be distraught at the thought of losing you but when an addiction is triggered logic and good intentions fly out of window.

Encourage him to seek good support without forcing him – you cannot save him but he can save himself.

There is a Friends and Family group tonight and I hope you will join me so that we can communicate in real time. It is between 19.00-20.00 hours UK time (7pm-8pm). It is private and safe.

Velvet

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by velvet.