Day 18 and I am tired today. I woke late and am not even going to shower this morning so that I can have an extra 30 minutes to rest. I have a few days off planned in the next couple of weeks and it looks like I might need them. I know I am burning the candle at both ends, so to speak, but I need to do what i have to because I got myself into this mess. I will be patient and am seeing the benefits financially of almost 3 paychecks not going to a casino. That will be multiplied each time i get paid and pay down a debt. I had enough money to buy my daughter a little easter gift yesterday that she loved (gave it to her early in case i had to exchange it) and it felt really good to be able to do it again. I Used to buy her all kinds of things before this mess hit me, and now i can slowly start again. I’m doing what makes me feel good and that is what is necessary if I am to combat the monster in my head. That is what I am calling it from now on. I need to stop feeding the monster until it decides to go somewhere else to feed. It will get easier as I find other things to feed, like giving and gardening, that will take my attention away from the monster. I hope that you are all strong and gamble free today
