That’s great kin glad your on the right track.
I dont have alot to talk about these days as I’ve been talking to alot of my friends and I had my therapy appointment on Friday so whatever was swirling in my heads been let out. I just find I’m in a much more simple and chaotic free life now so I’m ok. I’m paying my debt, I’m saving money, I’ve rid myself of being haunted by past trauma, I’ve kept myself away from chaotic relationships,which helps alot. I’ve let go of daily life stressors in terms of not having expectations or trying to control things. I don’t avoid my feelings or things that bother me I let it out in the moment or talk to someone about things and move on. I don’t take others abusive or toxic behaviors to heart because ive worked on what triggers me and why. I always had triggers from aggressive males because of things that happened in my life but I dont let that consume me anymore. I spend time alone now and I was never alone I haven’t been ever actually. This is the first time in my life I come home to just me and my dog and at first it was hard but now it’s nice because I realize there’s zero conflict and I can do whatever I want when I want without having to worry about how my partner feels if I go out and do something without him. I’m generally happy and I stopped comparing myself to other people. I dont look at happily married people with a family and go that should be me I just think I’m happy for them, I don’t think I’m a POS for no longer owning a big house, or not looking physically better like when I was in my 20s. I’ve accepted where I’m at all around and thats a very hard place to reach so I’m really grateful for that. I literally am just going day by day and living in each moment which is really nice. I’ve never known what it was like to not feel depressed but I can finally say I’m not for once in my life and for that I’m extremely grateful.