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#154191
Losingitslowly
Participant

We all are “had” . We would not go back unless we thought we could win. There was always a slot, it changed over the years, but there was always one where I would win big on a few times and I figured that that was “my game”. I would play it endlessly until I lost every penny of my money. The music from the game bonus rounds would play in my head while I tried to sleep, like a siren song, and I was helpless. The only time I was able to stop was when I banned myself from one casino or another and I could not play it. It’s the only thing that worked for me ( until I found another game on another casino) so that’s why I say that putting blocks in place will go a long way to helping you get the monkey off your back in the first few weeks. I am now able to stay away on my own because the cycle has been broken. The fog in my head, the dependency, like one to drugs or alcohol, has been broken and it is much easier now. Break the cycle. Either blocks or self control but one way or another you have to stop the fog. Have you tried looking for more work? Keeping myself busy is a great help on the first few weeks and it could be helpful on so many fronts for you as well (money for debt especially, ) Keep fighting and hope that strength finds you today