Hi Kin,
I am hanging in there. I have had a lot of stress going on. My dad (Step)has been sick so I have been spending a day driving there to help my parents with odds and ends.
We moved last year to be closer to grandchildren and I don’t regret that decision one bit. But my parents wouldn’t move with us so we could stay closer together and continue to help as needed.
I have one brother who lives 400 miles away, has small children and is a musician who play bass guitar for well known artists. Which means he cannot be of any help since he is so busy. I don’t hold that against him whatsoever. He beats himself up enough for it.
My other brother lives 14 miles away from my parents however, he has an addiction to alcohol that runs his life. He isn’t aware or I guess won’t acknowledge it so I shut my mouth. He has become the very person he hates the most. Donor, as we refer to him. Our real dad wasn’t a part of our life.
Our (step) dad has been all we know. Treated us like his own and still does.
I feel like an only child right now. Running to my dad to appts, hospital, calling insurance companies etc. I think maybe this has taken on its own life and helped me to stay away from gambling. But then I worry it isn’t allowing me to deal with the feelings and behaviors that started my addiction to gambling.
It is hard to find the time to even work on my steps in recovery. Should I worry this new normal is just keeping me from healing? From learning everything I need to know? Or do I look at it as a blessing? It is keeping me too busy to gamble. There is the struggle I have. I want to recover from my addiction. Not just replace it with something else. In this case coping with my parents.