How are things going ashamed? I am hoping that it is not ashamed, but proud today. It is hard in the beginning to fight the urges everyday. Occupying oneself works for a while but then you have to watch out for those times when the opportunity sneaks in all of the sudden and you are powerless to stop yourself. That was my failure, thinking that if I just worked non stop that I would be able to stop myself and the urges would go away. The first opportunity I got that I was alone and relaxed, boom, I was gambling again. In time it is easier to deal with the urges and for me, my mind tells me that it doesnt want to because of all of the negative things that are becoming attached to it. The brain fights itself and then, in time, the no will become stronger than the yes. It takes time for the yes pathways to weaken and the longer you abstain and build up the no pathways, the easier it becomes. It has gone from just having the thought or memory of the music from the bonus round in my head and then I would be finding a way to play within minutes to not hearing it anymore and when a thought comes in, it is quickly ushered out by another thought. Give it time, like you would any new habit. You are developing new, good habits as well as trying to bury old bad ones. Stay vigilant.
