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#160041
jvr3419
Participant

I’m doing well today. I feel alot more clear headed I’m heading into a 4 day long weekend so I’m excited for a break. I have lots of things planned. I had a friend in rehab reach out to me. We’ve been friends for 20 years but I cut off ties with her periodically do to her alcoholism. I tried my best to hold my composure talking to her today telling her I miss my bestfriend and hope she’s finds herself again. I told her I’m not perfect either but that I keep removing anything that’s unhealthy from my life so that I can stay on a better recovery path. She always brings up our party days and all the stuff we used to do. I just have to always remind her I’m not that person anymore. Even though my gambling was a few month stint it was enough to make me see who I could turn into again. I was in a dry drunk which is what lead me there. I have to constantly be reminded of how easy it is to get back into that mindset if I don’t practice proper recovery. That means doing 12 steps, and getting help from the necessary people so I dont become controlling, impatient,intolerant, and emotional unstable. Being in a dry drunk looks different for everyone but I’ve seen what it looks like in others so I no right away when I’m in one. As soon as I start trying to white knuckle my recovery and try to control things on my own that’s when I feel the shift in my personality. It takes alot to admit it and see it but I’m glad I have that ability now. I’m grateful today.