Thanks kin for your kind words. I’m definitely making strides with connecting with healthy people. I’ve been meeting with strong recovery minded people and learning how to stay grounded. My counselor set me free about a month ago said I didn’t need his help anymore. I’ve definitely had to learn alot about how to deal with life properly since I don’t have him anymore. I’m smart enough it’s just I struggle when I feel lonely and that’s usually when I attract unhealthy people into my life. I had a brief fling after my sponsor told me not to get involved with anyone. It was a mistake and I encourage anyone to just push through the year mark that’s recommend to be alone. Theres a reason for it because we’re so vulnerable and raw in the first year of any recovery. Even though I have almost 11 years of clean and sober time I still had this gambling addiction and I needed to figure myself out in this time. I wish I didn’t let my will take over but mistakes happen now I’m forcing myself to get back on track to keep working on myself. Recovery is super hard sometimes its not smooth sailing by any means. The one thing I take from alot of old timers that talk in meetings and who I no is that it’s about repetition of the simple steps and principles. It’s not hard to follow its just a matter of putting the effort into doing the work nessicary to stay balanced and healthy. Addict brains are so stubborn in wanting to take our own wills back when life knocks us down. I no for me I have to just keep fighting that self will and letting my spirtuality take the lead it’s the only thing that’s gonna save me from my own self destructing ways.
