I cannot remember what gambling has done to me all the time
I cannot remember the pain, heartache and hardship cause by gambling all the time
But I can remember the euphoria and high, and the false hope that gambling can give me anytime
I do not know what happen inside my head
How do you fix something inside the head
I seem to remember all the good feeling about gambling
I had to write about my bad decision and consequences when I chose to gamble
I had to write about the damage and destruction of gambling
I had to write about my foolishness, stupidity, recklessness, laziness when I chose danger
How blind, insensible, uncaring, disinterested and selfish can I be when I chose to gamble
or do things that harm me and others
I have also forgotten how journalling has help me
Journaling helps me remember the disasters
I need to raise my conscious level
I need to raise my awareness and mindfulness
I need to strengthen my protection and defense in the face of temptations and trials
I need to raise my moral level
I need to have a stronger ability to tell the right and wrong
My moral level is low
I would give in to temptation and trial
I would give up my fight to do the right thing at that moment
I need to make the right decision at every moment
One moment at a time
Many moments, many decisions need to be made in a day
I need to have a stronger tolerance, endurance and stamina in the fight to do the right thing