I discover that my employment problem was caused by myself.
I was looking for work in all the wrong places.
I keep looking for job that was not suitable for me.
no matter how hard I work, no matter how much additional time and effort I put in,
I still cannot catch up with the rest, I was slow, not productive and struggling on the job.
It took the current job to confirm everything. It was all about job fit and suitability.
I am experiencing less stress and getting paid more now.
I only took 3 days and not 3 months to adapt and fit into this new job.
Before this happen, I was beginning to doubt myself.
I lose so many jobs that I start to believe that it was my fault.
I start to blame myself for losing all those jobs that was so hard for me to get.
Each time I lose a job, I will gamble to cope with the pain and that did not help me.
Losing everything I had in gambling makes it worst and more painful, it was a bad decision.
This is a journey of discovery. I am learning how to live life.
I am learning from my mistakes. I am making changes to cope with my old problems.
Today I was hit by the curve ball in life again.
I was shocked when I find myself looking at returning to old way and giving up my new way.
I ask myself why I suddenly want to gamble today. What have change. How can this happen to me –
I could be tired, I could be unwell or sick
the hormones in my body or the chemical in my brain may have change.
I really do not know. I could be weak today and I didn’t know.
I need to keep the new way. My old ways are wrong.
I need to work hard and focus on the job just for today, one day at a time.
I need to work hard to keep my recovery just for today, one day at a time.
One moment I did not pay attention on the road of my recovery, I would slip into old ways.
This is a reality and the truth. It is a fact. This is my struggle.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by notyoung56.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by notyoung56.