Hi Sian82,
We have recently discussed your urges to gamble, so, well done for joining the forum! You are currently doing the right things such as blocking access, reaching out for support and starting your recovery journal. It takes a lot of inner strength to admit your addiction and resist your urges to gamble. Therefore, do not despair and remember that having a strong desire to gamble is part of the initial stages of recovery. Many others had the same struggles and managed to overcome their addiction.
It may help if you think about the reasons behind your gambling urges (e.g. stressful day, arguments, seeing gambling adverts, etc.) and look for healthier ways of regulating your moods, such as going for a walk, exercising, spending time with people who do not gamble… Remember, that urges to gamble do not last 24/7 and if you resist your impulses, then eventually, these will become weaker and easier to manage.
Writing about your thoughts and emotions may help you better understand your problem and we will do our best to support you. You may also consider joining our peer support groups (text-based) https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/support/about-support-groups/