Start of day 3
So done 2 days without gambling. Been thinking deeply about the whole aspects of lots of issues about gambling and why it is a curse for those of us with a compulsive nature.
A positive point is if I have 2 days without I can do 2,4,8 and so on. A gambler mentality when building an accumulator perhaps, but it shows it can be done.
The negative slant on that is that I have little actual ability to place any bets, I have little money left and I feel so sick with myself that I just don’t have any interest in it right now.
Past experiences have shown that I have often started betting again when I get to feel a little comfortable or complacent. I think there is that certain amount of money I could just bet that and have a win, then I lose and another slide starts.
Like Snakes and ladders, but gambling is choc full of snakes for sure, with very few ladders. Yes, some people get to the top of the board and win big. Most slide right back down again. I’ve done it myself.
Betting companies love to publicise a punter who won big from a small stake. “The punter who won £50,000 from a £5 bet”. Why? Because it gives us all hope. It’s that hope of the massive win that keeps us hanging on. Checking the football results, the lottery tickets and so on. The reality is it’s 1 punter in millions of us. The betting companies are not being bankrupted, they win, we lose.
Most people can bet within their means and have a flutter on the football every weekend or buy a lottery ticket. That’s fine and dandy. But us compulsive gamblers can’t do that, gambling is far more than a flutter. We are often betting to try and chase a loss.
Most people bet for a buzz of excitement or for taking a risk. Probably how we actually started our “journeys”. They can walk away though, we mostly can’t. Maybe we can leave it for a while, but then we are drawn back.
We all need to look closely at the reasons why we gamble? Why can’t we just walk away sometimes? So I lost £10, £100, whatever amount, so what? Why do I have to bet again to chase that? It’s huge, the way are brains are wired, the psychology of it all. There is some deep stuff in all of us that needs really unearthing. Maybe like a plot of land. We need to really work on it. Pull out all the weeds, tend the ground before something REALLY GOOD can grow. We need to maintain that ground, KEEP working on it. Don’t neglect it to maintain the growth.
That’s what I really need to do this time. Unearth the deep stuff that does make me a problem gambler.
Why do I throw it away when I am in a great position? Why am I not content?
I can do that by really looking at myself this time. By being on here and posting my thoughts, by reading how others are tackling it, by being in the chat rooms regularly. By attending GA meetings, counselling maybe too if I can’t get to the roots of it all.
The short term will be tough. Unearthing everything and the groundwork I need to put in will be draining. It will be tough financially to build things up again.
I will need to show proper self control this time and not be neglectful EVER.
Short term pain for long term gain. The future can be so much brighter without gambling.
At the end of the day money is money. So what! We have it or we don’t, so what! In reality there is a lot more problems in the world than that. We fall into are own little world, on our own chasing money, betting companies want us all on our own, like playground bullies, preying on us. Feeding free bets to keep our interest, advertising the big winners. We can beat it if we STAY strong, don’t get left on our own, strength in numbers, COME ON I/WE can do it!!!
