Day 40
40 days of daze!
Often I have felt unable to do anything, just sitting and wondering what have I done? However if I continue to do this it means gambling still has me in it’s grip.
Those feelings are lessening and I need to try and keep telling myself the money is gone now. I blew it on a big trip, a business deal that went wrong, I got scammed, I had to pay a huge fine. It happens. Move on and rebuild.
Carry the scar, but learn to live with it. Use it to remember the consequences of my actions, always.
So treating 40 days as a bit of a milestone. Giving myself a bit of credit for staying out of further trouble.
Slowly establishing some positive routine in my life. Exercising again, eating regular meals and taking more sustained interest in cookery. If I eat well, I think well. Cutting right down on drinking and smoking.
Establish some proper, sustainable, positive habits. That’s what I want long term.
Short term, keep going day by day, stay gamble free. Try and enjoy the simple things, Pick up further interests.
Keep posting my thoughts and use the drop in chats on here. Thanks to Charles and Slotjunkie for your support and positivity last night. Recovery is not something we can do alone, I have finally sussed that out!
Work towards another 40 days, if I do that things can be better again.
If I can do 40 days, anybody can. Keep doing the right things, make the right choices.
Stay committed to the best version of me.
Good luck all, we can’t change the past but we can change our future.
