Day 45
Still going gamble free. Not had any significant urges to gamble. Still rebuilding my life, my inner world. Starting to become more settled again.
I know those urges could come back anytime. If I become more settled I am more likely to get complacent. So I will always need to be aware. I am a compulsive type of person. I am “wired up” that way. I can accept that now, learn to deal with it.
Just been watching the news. Highlights of The Eurovision semi final were on. During the interval there was a touching duet between a singer from Liverpool and the Ukraine. They sang Ordinary World by Duran Duran. Some lyrics from that song really resonate with me now:
“But I won’t cry for yesterday
There’s an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive”
By understanding and dealing with my demons I can live in an ordinary world.