Thank you for posting. I have read all of your post and so much of your thoughts/beliefs/actions ring true with me as well. You said, “Gambling is not living, it is more the opposite, it sucks life out of you” – which is completely true with all of us addicts I’m sure. I’ve been struggling with sports wagering for many years, actually a decade easily. Gambling does such the life out of me. It changes who I am as a person. It impacts my relationships and it impacts what I do with my life each and every day. I’m so much more positive and willing to live life without gambling. When I place a sports wager, is not just 1 wager. Its 1 wager after another after another. My life feel so hectic because anything other than placing that wager is impacting me feeding my addiction.
You stated “Thoughts still torment me that I should be so much better off if I had never gambled.” This really is a tough pill for me to swallow as well. How do you manage? This is one thing that hunts me daily. I’m ashamed of where I am at in my life (no its not all terrible but it should be much better) and I understand I am the only one to blame because my addiction created the mess I am in. But how do you get over this? Is it as simple as not being so hard on yourself?
Thank you for posting. You have definitely helped me today. Stay strong and I look forward to your next post!
NO gambling today. One day at a time!