Hi Marcus,
Thanks for taking the time to respond back. You spoke a lot of truths. I completely agree with living with the scar. For myself, I just know my family would be so much better off had I never started or stopped many years ago. I have caused my family so much, mostly not allowing us to live a better life (nice house, car for my 16 year old, maybe even some vacations) because I am constantly losing every penny I have on gambling. I do believe the toughest of times can also be the greatest times for self growth. When one is knocked down and they get back up fighting and stay the course; the bounce back will be greater than ever imagined. Maybe if we lived a life without gambling we would just life a moderate life; but now with the addiction impacting us so greatly we want the best life possible; a motivator per say.
A few more thoughts I’d like to share. The daily mantras: one of my favorites is “I will not gamble today as it impacts my life negatively.” Which it absolutely does. If we continue to gamble our lives will continue to have the same bad things happen, you are absolutely correct. Personally, I know my sick mind will tell me; I can just place a few bets that I’m very confident on, win and cash out. That is so far from the truth. Some people can do that. Those people are much more disciplined and don’t have an addiction like I do. Thus, that is not me and it will never be me. There was a time many years ago I had a sports parlay bet that netted me over 10K on 3 games. It was a miracle night and bet; but from that 10k I saw not a penny because I just played reckless. I played reckless and it soon became my life. Reckless!
The second thought I had while reading your post is the future and looking back on this time of our lives. I know one of my motivations is when its all said and done and its time for me to leave this earth, I know I will had a bunch of regret if I spent nearly all my adult life as a gambling addict because (as you said) it doesn’t allow us to live our lives to our full potential. I know I would have a life full of regrets if I allow this addiction to control my every move and control my every relationship. For that, I will stay gamble free today.
Sorry for the rant. I do enjoy your post! Stay blessed!