30 days free today for me. To say it has been easy would be a lie. It’s been very tough. Heck even today has been a struggle because I know I could easily make a deposit into my old gambling sportsbook account ( i would have to reopen it, which they gladly would) but there is one major thing stopping me. It’s not about the money but that one thing stopping me is all the time, all the energy all the focus that gambling takes away from me. It completely changes who I am as a person. It changes my outlook, and it changes what I accomplish each day. Honestly, with gambling, I don’t accomplish much. Other than watching/betting on sports all day. I have people that are depending upon me and gambling takes away from that. That is why I have decided to not gamble today. I have passed a big test today. Today I will press forward despite that lie my brain is telling me- that lie of “you can control your gambling, just bet on games you are sure of.” I know that lie. As soon as I place one wager, I’m full tilt back into the madness. My therapist told me a while back; with addictions, when you start back up an addiction you never start at the beginning you instead start off right where you left off. That is so true and one of the main reasons I have made it this far without gambling because starting back up where I left off would be absolutely miserable! Not TodaY!!!
