Like you I have struggled for many years with an addictive personality.
What I have lost is huge, but I am recognising a point where I don’t want to lose any more.
What is gone is gone. Now is the time to “fight back”. Not by gambling but by living a more fulfilling life.
To be able to look back one day and say what I went through changed me as a person for the better is something to fight for.
Best wishes. You are doing great.