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Hi Vlad, I am so sorry you are going through this. I am new to recovery and don’t really have any advice for you, except to keep on fighting. Coming here and sharing this is a great step. I just joined tonight as I am feeling I need the support from others. I am too ashamed to tell my friends and only a couple family members and my therapist know. I am 35 and feel like I have ruined my life. It was when I started feeling the suicidal thoughts that I really knew I needed to reach out for help. Please know that it is not worth ending your life. I am here anytime you want to talk 🙂