I went to a meeting this morning and was greeted by these people I’ve known for the last 12 years of my recovery. The connection and understanding of these people made me remember why I need to be apart of the programs. I get so lost in my own head sometimes and think the struggles i experience are just me. As soon as I connect with other addicts I feel so much better. Meetings are like taking the medicine we need to stay clean/sober. The complacency that can happen and does where my brain says I don’t need them happens fast. I have to fight myself everyday to stay focused in the right direction. I don’t want anything to take me back out to my addictions again no matter how hard things can get. I’ve watched several people in my life lately both relapse and become the most miserable dry drunks I’ve ever seen. Being emtionally dysregulated and pissed off all the time is not who I want to be. I no that I have to go to any length possible to keep me away from that darkplace. I drove an hour to get a meeting this morning it was worth it for me to make that effort. I drive 2 hours after work to get to a step group every week no matter how tired i am. I sacrificed my mental health and sanity in my addictions. Spending my freetime healing is more than worth the effort to not return to that life.