Hi nkalei and welcome. Firstly my apologies, it shouldn’t have taken this long to welcome you to the forum.
I am sorry to hear about your father – in – law.
With regards your gambling you can stop I promise you. Read the other stories here – you will read a lot that you will relate to. You will also see the success stories and the sorts of thigns that will help you stop gambling.
When it cxomes to support you now have this forum. We also have live groups and even a 1 – 1 Helpline. Check this link as well, I don’t know your geography but there do seem to be GA meetigns in pretty much every State in USA.
https://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/locations
They also have a link for zoom meetings etc. Support has never been as accessible and it is important to use it. To put it bluntly, if we could do it on our own then none of us would be here in the first place.
Keep posting and let us know the positive steps ypou are taking. Hopefully i will see you in a group here soon as well
The things that will help you stop gambling, and help rebuild trust with your husband arent any words, promises or even intentions. It is actions that count.
Where do you usually gamble? If it is online then you can exclude yourself from the sites you use. There are blockers you can instal which will stop you signing up at others. You lose your paycheck as soon as you get paid? Then I am sire your husband will be delighted to help and have it paid into his account. We both know that no money = no gambling so we can use that in recovery.