Your poem speaks volumes, I have read it 4 times already. Well done writing it.
You proved in 2018 that you can control your addiction. Now you know that complacency was always sitting on your shoulder, waiting for you to fall, you can be better prepared to send it packing in future. Working through this painful lesson can make you stronger and having read your words I believe in you.
Armed with that knowledge you can definitely be the man you want to be and I, along with many others, will look forward to reading your progress.