My thought can change suddenly. I was feeling sick and unwell after long hours at work today.
My thought has switched from recovery to relapse mode, from safety to danger mode. I was thinking of where to go gambling today, what time and what matches are available for gamble today, how much can I gamble and what is the gambling odds.
I am not panicking. With practice and experience, I knew that I am in control of the first bet.
I cannot stop after the first bet, I need one more bet whether I win or lose, I have lost all my last bet. I must remember and remind myself no more bet. I must do everything to protect myself from not placing the first bet.
I was not facing the problem that gambling brings me but I was facing all the problem that leads to my gambling.
I need to trust and have confidence in the ways that leads to my recovery and healing.
I can choose not to follow my gambling thought and feeling.
I do not have to act out my gambling thought and feeling
I needed discipline to sleep and rest after work.
I must not be tempted to do other things.
I slept at 10am and woke up at 6pm. My thought has change. It has recovered and switch from relapse to recovery mode, from danger to safety mode. My gambling thought has disappeared.
I only need to focus on today. I only need to keep myself safe today.
Tomorrow, I do the same.
One day at a time.
- This reply was modified 3 weeks, 6 days ago by kin.