I asked myself, Did I walk the talk today? Did I allow the risk to stay?
I do not need the risk. Did I remove this risk?
Did I move away from danger today?
It was an unexpected bill; the amount was very affordable. I was undecided whether to pay up this month or wait until next month. I saw the warning; the same thought is not going away. The obsessive thought keeps replaying in my head, it was very distracting, irritating and disturbing, it will become stressful after some time. This pressure is unnecessary.
This thought looks very harmless but how many times has molehill turn into mountain inside my head? I risk turning this into a gambling thought.
Journaling has help me see the danger and early warning sign. Putting my thoughts down in words has help me to see the picture clearer. I do not want to trigger my impulsive control disorder and obsessive control disorder.
I do not need this risk. I need to remove this danger. I took immediate action and paid this bill.
After paying this bill, I still have excess fund. I do not need this risk so I remove the potential danger of using this money for gambling. I used all the money to pay up an instalment in advance.
I did not have peace when I kept the excess money. I was living in danger.
I did not keep the excess money and I have peace now. I am safe.
I only need to keep myself safe today.
Tomorrow, I do the same.
One day at a time.