You ask me, “How many years do you have gambling problems?”
I am a compulsive gambler. I was blinded to my gambling problem and did not believe that I had a gambling problem for many years. I first experience losing all my pocket money to a fruit machine when I was less than 12 years old. That was more than 40 years ago.
I only found out that I can seek help for this problem 18 years ago. I have continue to slip and relapse all these years until this day whenever I am not careful. This problem has affected my daily life and I cannot function properly like a normal person.
Recently I ask myself: What are the proof that I am in recovery? What are the evidence that I am in recovery? Is it all worth it?
I have kept an excel spreadsheet of all the amendment that I have made in recovery. These are proof and evidence that recovery is helping me to do thing that I cannot do previously for me and my love ones. It has given me hope and keeps me going. My life will be unimaginable and a lot worst if I did not seek help. I am very sure this recovery thing has saved my life.
When you are active gambling, you have to deal with the problem that gambling give you, but after you have stop gambling, you still have to deal with all the living problem that can lead you to gambling. I take it one day at a time.
I try to stay gamble free one day at a time. It has help me stay gamble free in November 2023.
This is my shameful and embarrassing but honest answer to your question.