Life is more manageable and under control one day at a time but it has threaten to run me off the track a few times last month, and the last hit was the hardest. I was thankful to remain gamble free in November.
I have to deal with the usual stress from exhaustion due to long hours at work. It was harder when I was triggered by a few stress at the same time. There were stress from exhaustion and my eczema.
I did not gamble, but it became more stressful when I was triggered by exhaustion, my eczema and other illness, I had two small fainting spells.
Just when I thought these problems has come and go, that my life has return to normal. I was hit the hardest by the unexpected last one when depression return, it was dark and painful.
Under these conditions, it was natural for me to look for good feeling in other things but this journal has reminded me to remove the risk and stay away from danger one day at a time. When things is beginning to run out of control, it has pull me back and put me back on the right track.
Not everyone can understand me unless they have the same problem. I can be hit by the unexpected curve ball that life throw at me, and sometimes my urge and craving comes in waves, one after another, one on top of another, one day after another.
This post serve to remind me that I can get attack and trigger by multiple stress on multiple days.
I need to stay focus on today, one thing at a time, one day at a time.