The strong anxious feeling that I get over something that never come has disappear after the money was bank into my account.
I am watching my anxiety level now.
I need to be told:
I need to do everything to protect myself from placing the first bet today.
I will struggle to stop placing the next bet, win or lose… after the first bet.
Who am I supporting in a match between between “no more bet for me” vs “one more time”
It is a tug of war between “right” and “wrong”, “good” and “evil”.
I only need to stop today.
Tomorrow, I do the same.
One day at a time.
I will continue to recharge and restore my energy. I need this power to help me face the stress, deal with the distraction or resist temptation every day.
If I have handed the money that just arrive to someone for safekeeping. The thought to use this money for gambling will not play inside my head.
I did the unwise thing to hold on to the money now.
The same thought is beginning to replay in my head slowly.
I need to put down the burden.
The moment I handover this money to someone, this stress will disappear.
I am going to close my eyes and sleep now. I will probably decide after I wake up.