Hi Emma8 I’m glad that you decided to come back to this site. Having a relapse is super hard for us because the shame and guilt creep in. But one thing I’ve learned that sometimes it has to happen to give us a good kick in the head to show where we need to improve on ourselves. As discouraging as it is you now no you need help, you can’t just do it alone. Recovery is alot of work and its something that has to be done everyday. The reason 12 step groups work is because we are constantly reminded to stay in the solution. Unfortunately us addicts don’t have a cure for the obsessions to use whatever are addiction of choices are. We have to be reminded constantly how to keep our brain from resorting to old patterns. Sitting in meetings, talking to a sponsor,or other recovering addicts is the only thing I no that works for me. I’ve been addicted to a million things to escape from the issues in my head. I’m not saying my way is the only way but I no that it works. Therapy helps to get to the route of core problems that trigger us. However triggers, and emotional discomfort still happen even with alot of clean time. Because we’re human and shit happens new traumas or things that stress us out occur. Because we’re hard wired to avoid discomfort are brain tends to reach into quick thinking and wants to numb as quick as possible. That’s why having a routine of meetings and regular recovery helps people avoid relapse. You made the right decision writing here because your brain remembered the support helps so thats awesome. Some people don’t find there way back so you should be proud of that. I hope you keep writing, and quickly get the supports you need from counseling,meetings or whatever you no cab keep you on track.
