Wow Adele – I was just catching up on our posts and trying to digest it all. But briefly (since I have been sitting here way longer than I can!) I agree with Monique – No therapist should be talking about herself – they need to be client focused as she said and dealing only with the issues you bring up and that are “in the room”. If you do not feel this therapist is competent or a good match for you, you should feel free to switch and try to find a better fit. When I have looked for myself, I have interviewed 5 or 6 therapists over the phone and then go in for a trial session to see if I like them – it is not like buying a pair of pants – this is deep work and the fit and expertise and just overall “feel” need to be right, otherwise it is just a waste of time.
I hope I didn’t miss something in the posts and this is all old news – its hard to keep up with everything…
I also wanted to comment on your thoughts of :

“Somewhere along the way I lost interest in gardening and building things and being creative. I lost my passion for dancing, shooting pool and playing golf. I’ve not socialized much since quitting my job and I live with a non-communicative man. I’m not very comfortable in social settings anymore because I don’t have anything interesting to talk about – I’ve very nearly lost that skill.”

I totally relate to that – I feel similar in that I have devoted my life to my kids and husband and have lost myself along the way. BUT I do know I am still there – just like YOU are still there. All those passions are still within you waiting to be brought up. Its almost like finding an old scarf you once loved and saying “hey, i forgot about you,” and getting that happy feeling as you wear “your old friend”. Your skills, passions, ability to socialize are all still there – Maybe rusty, but there. I just wanted to say I relate to that line of thinking but know deep down that none of that is lost, just hibernating…
Here is to you, me and all of us here finding our passions again and doing what we need to for ourselves. I am not sure if that was helpful, but I hope it was.
As for therapist referrals, cant remember if you are in the US, but NASW (Nat; Assoc of Social Workers) has a referral list of therapists and what they specialize in – I have found that to be helpful before.
Sending love your way. Keep the faith.