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Thank you kin, for counting my days. Three days ago Ive had an appointment at a psychiatrist. This time it was a woman. She listened very carefully to my story and my behavior I told her- how hard it is for to deal with bigger stress and how I have to handle my energy to not feel overloaded in my head. Next thing I told her, when I’m in very stressful situations I can’t sleep over days. That was often a reason for gambling, or using drugs.
After that hour talking to her, she thought about what might help me in case of medication. She gave me something, what’s regularly used for old patients- cause it’s very soft. After two days no sleep again, I took one pill (buronil 25mg if someone likes to check it).
And I slept well, and also was able to get out of bed. The whole day was pretty good, and I recognized that I feel so „normal“ in my head now (!). The days after were also very good, cause I was more able to decide what’s the best to do and when, without doing nonsense in between, to go to bed at the right time and not feel to do more nonsense before going to bed. I was much more organized over the day, and it didn’t matter to me to think about all impressions ive had over the day.

Maybe I needed much earlier something like this.