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Dear diary

Today was the first day I woke up thanking God since 9th April 2016.

I am speaking from my own personal experience. It may be a one time incident for the alcohol but the damage was done, it changes my priority, focus, and ways. It made me backslide to an earlier period.

All the good changes that have taken place recently has suddenly disappear in my daily life and I keep getting old familiar thoughts of acting out and it squeezes God out of my life.

If I plan to use my salary to gamble or use alcohol, there is no more room to love my family, I feel that I do not have the same amount of money to give them. This is a lie, I cannot believe what my mind is telling me.

My mind tell me to continue to use alcohol lightly, continue to gamble, give up my plan to love my family since it has fail, my relationship with God has distance, my life has change for the worst.

This is all a lie, it was the devil trying to convince me to go back to my old ways.

I stop and stay there, I did not continue to slide down but my mind is convincing me to continue the downward slide.

In recovery, the past is history, I cannot change what has happen, I cannot undo my irresponsible deeds.
Today is the most important day, I can be accountable and responsible today.
I cannot change yesterday but I can do something about today.
One day at a time, it all add up and determine my future.