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9 days have passed since my last bet. I managed to stay away and not gamble.
I passed my last exam five days ago. I was exaggerating honestly when I said about “tons” of my academic debts in uni.
I finished pretty much everything, expect one subject that consists only of “laboratory tasks” aka labs, and not require an exam or even a test. I’m gonna finish it off in September.
Today I came to job interview for internship for first time in my life. I can’t say I did well, neither messed up. The results will come soon in a span of one week.

Have I cleaned myself from the mud that I’ve got into while betting again? Yes.
Have I cured myself from the deeply placed disease called addiction? No, and it seems I will never properly do that.
To live in constant fear and anxiety, to suffer from these compulsive thoughts from time to time, or even every passing moment.
A destiny of an addict, truly dreadful.

I still have a light of hope. That I wake up some day. And tell myself: this is it. This is the end. You’re free.
No more addiction. No more struggles and beating yourself up. No more suicidal thoughts. No more fear, no more freaking gambling.
It’s okay to have a dream sometimes.