Gambling Therapy logo
#199752
asdfghost
Participant

I wish I had no real reason to write here. I wish.

Here we go again. I fell for the bait of “freebets”, you know these?
They want you to deposit a small amount like $5 to get a “freebet” which is a virtual number that you can bet and if you win, you’ll have the profit (not including the amount of “freebet”) on your record.
Yesterday, or well, two days ago I downloaded a new betting app, and they gave away that stuff to me.
And I managed to keep it. The amount I won. Not for long.
Today, presumably because I did a cashout operation, they sent me another “deal” which was a “freebet” that equals to the amount you deposit.
You can think ahead what has happened next.
Yes, I lost everything again. That’s not a rocket science. That’s freaking gambling. It always ends the same. ALWAYS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Why can’t I understand matter that simple? Why, why, why, why?
Why I have to keep coming back and hurt myself, not being able to stop, always rushing with my brainless, empty head, into void.
Into places I will never come back from. Even to the place I’m being right now. Let alone these wet dreams of “full recovery” and such.

I’m very angry at myself now. I’m not afraid. But I’m really depressed at the same time, and that feeling seems to overtake my anger.
No. Just no. I need to remind myself every day. Not today. You don’t bet today.
Imagine how pathetic that sounds for a normal person to read.

  • This reply was modified 4 months ago by asdfghost.