What was my life like before I was saved?
Before I was saved, I was very selfish, self-centered, and self-seeking.
I suffered from impulse control, obsessive compulsive and emotional dysregulation disorder.
I will do what I want to do when I want to do;
I want to take alcohol and eat whatever I want
I want to take alcohol and have sex
I want to take alcohol and gamble
I want to take alcohol and doctor prescribe drug
This type of freedom only leads to my addiction and slavery.
I lost all my money and borrow a lot of money so that I can continue with my self-destructive ways.
All my friends eventually left me and avoided me, they are afraid that I will bring them harm.
Sadly, my family members suffered the most, they are like my hostage, they have nowhere to run from me, they have to live in fear, insecurity and worries because of me.
How did I get saved?
In the year 2013, I met a stranger. He was like a God send messenger to me.
He did not look down on me. He wanted to buy me a coffee and talk.
That night he told me that the answers I was seeking can be found in a book.
I asked, “which book?” He replied that it was the bible.
At that time, I was very lost, hopeless, fearful and broken.
This man showed me that the bible and God can help me.
We started to meet over the next 10 years.
I was a sinner; I would confess to him and he would pray for me.
In the book of James chapter 5 verse 16 says
Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
In the first book of John chapter 1 verse 9 says
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just. He will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
How did my life change after I was saved?
I stop thinking that my money is my money; I can do anything I want with my money.
I started to take responsibility on how I use my money wisely
I start to learnt about the ability to joyfully do what God want me to do with the money He has entrusted me for his purpose and His glory and I start to develop this ability to do the right thing and say “no” to the wrong thing.
I must confess here that, “I am not perfect; I am a sinner; I am still a work in progress.” When I am very lost and confuse on what to do and how to do the right thing:
It was written in the book of Matthew chapter 22 verse 36 to 40
36 Teacher which is the greatest commandment in the law. 37 Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.
39 and the second is “Love your neighbor as yourself.
In the first book of Corinthians, chapter 13 verse 13 says
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love
In the book of Matthew, chapter 5 verse 23 to 24
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
The bible was like a compass for me and God’s word has given me a direction in my life.
This has help me made the choice, between being right to the moneylender and being kind and loving to my family.
This has given me newfound strength and courage to love and be kind to my family first.
I stop fearing the moneylenders, I stop feeding the moneylenders and start feeding my family.
I have broken almost every promise made to my family, they can still remember and fear that I could harm them again.
Today they are the one who tells me that I have change.
God has help me to contribute to my family every month in the last 8 years without fail.
God has help me to return the money I took from many honest people.
They trusted me, they do not deserve to be cheated and punish for my wrongdoings.
They did not expect to see me after so long but I show up more than 15 years later at their door step to return them their hard earn money.
I really never thought this day will come, I could not made amend to the people I harm on my own after trying for so many years. I almost give up trying but God makes it happen for me in His timing, not mine.
In the book of Romans chapter 3 verse 10 to 11
As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; There is no one who understands; there is no one who seek God.
I begin to seek progress and not perfection.
I leave my life in the hand of God.
Everything happens for a reason and I thank God for everything good and bad.
I have learnt to accept and live my life on life’s term, not my term.
Lastly, I need to constantly warn myself all the times
In the first book of Corinthians chapter 10 verse 12 says
“So if you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall.”
In Proverbs 16:18
Pride goeth before destruction, and the spirit is lifted high before a fall.
When I become proud and arrogant; when I think that I am in control, more careful and better than another person; I have return to the old “me, I, myself” and very vulnerable to going back to my old ways.
My old ways do not work, I need to follow a new way; I need to seek a closer relationship with God.
I would like to praise and thank God for His mercy, and grace in saving me, in Jesus Christ ‘s holy name. Amen!