Day 61!
Apparently I was off by a few days, thank goodness for good ol’ google. The date stamp on this site always throws me off – I’m in Canada.
Fall has finally arrived. I’m heading on a trip in a few days for about a week. Looking forward to it, but also feeling like fml.. wish I didn’t gamble 35k away before a trip. The reality of it all still sucks.
I think the biggest thing that blows my mind right now is how my train of thought before would validate and support my gambling addiction. Like, depositing hundreds of dollars at a time thinking I’d win what I deposited before and more. Or, how money had little to no value, yet spending it on daily things I was frugal about. Or how everytime I’d gamble (after I had promised myself I wouldn’t).. I’d tell myself it’s ok, no big deal.. or how I thought gambling would solve all my problems. . Yet it has caused them all. I know I’m only 61 days in, but I am still 100% sure I will never gamble again. I feel it in my bones! 🤣❤️
With all that being said, I am feeling the struggle and the pain of my choices, but I’m really trying to be present in them, and process all of it.
Each day I think of gambling less and less. I’m staying busy, staying focused, working hard! When I get back from my trip I’ll be joining a gym! 💪👌
I hope everyone is continuing their fight and moving forward ❤️❤️🙏