April – day one
I was very worried that I do not have enough money to pay up a five-figure sum of money for a big purchase which has a dateline in Jan 2025. I was stressed, anxious, restless, and insecure.
Renovation at home lasted from 25 April to 7 May. It caused a lot of stress from inconveniences to my daily living. I was also worried about the additional financial burden from the renovation.
I gambled and lost money on 23rd April. I knew that I would need to do something different urgently otherwise nothing will change in my life. I approached a gambling support group at a church and joined them. When they pray, I pray along.
May
There was rumor of change in my work which threaten my job and income security. I was afraid, worried and stress. The hot weather is causing my eczema to flare up, it is not helping, it made me more stress.
June
The rumor was true. The location and nature of my work change. It was very tiring and stressful to adapt to new changes at work.
July
The challenge was almost similar to June
August
Different doctors were saying the same thing after reading my medical report. My gallbladder burst, there was tear in the gallbladder. I was hospitalized for 7 days for a keyhole surgery to remove my gallbladder. It was pain before and after surgery. It was hard and suffering. I have no appetite to eat, I had pain on my abdomen whenever I move.
September
I was on two weeks of hospital leave. The pain stayed for 3 weeks before it disappeared after surgery. I return to work. I have lost 12 kg.
October and November
My dateline for payment of a big purchase item was getting closer. I need to stay employed and save up. I was getting more and more stress and worried that money was not enough.
The change in the weather cause my eczema to flare up again at this time of the year. It causes me more stress and anxiety.
3rd December
The result over the last 7 months was very encouraging. I did not feel pressurized to stay gamble free, it happens naturally.
Whenever I have thoughts to feed my urge and craving, the urge and craving did not grow stronger because the praying reduce the anxiety and stress to a manageable level, and help me to remain clean and sober.
I have been eating more than I should, I have regain 8kg and I have saved up the full sum for a payment in Jan 2025 that worried me the most this year.
I have learned to enjoy the peace from praying and I intend to do this for the rest of my life.