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#14364
kin
Participant

Dear diary,
I receive news yesterday that mum need to be warded in the hospital and was there to arrange her admission.
It was all God timing.
Sis is outstation on a business trip, brother has his own family to look after, I thank God that I was ready this time and was there for mum. I was grateful to God for this because not so long ago, I was still irresponsible and in a mess. Sis and brother was always there for the family all the times in the past.
It took a long time admitting mum to the hospital yesterday but everything went fine.
Mum likes to show everyone that she was considerate and a brave person but when she was hospitalized, she was scared and afraid, and it shows when she talk, she suddenly become very demanding, and not co-operative, she know how to get the best that her children could provide for her.
Yesterday in another one of her outburst, she was telling me what to do again, but mum who has no formal education did not know the rules in the hospital. She was giving out orders and instructions not knowing that the hospital does not allow her to do them. It looks like she only wants to be heard and not ready to listen to explanation.
She later start complaining about her maid to me, she tell me she was unhappy that the maid was using her smart phone and notebook all the times, but that was how my maid pass her leisure time when she was free and there was no way she can be surfing the net when she was busy doing her work. Other times, Mum did not know that she was charging her battery at night and complain that she was wasting electricity and money.
I can see what is happening and I was more concern and focus on consoling her so that she will not be so fearful about her condition than on the other petty little things she has mentioned. Helping mum get well and looking after her, I get healed too.

Her behaviors triggered me and I get flashback on a very uneasy feeling, one that was hidden at the back of my head, one that I always get from mum when I was young, she was demanding and pushy, not unstanding or considerate at all she will scold and stress me. I can see the picture very clearly now. That was how I was brought up. Even as I write, I could remember times during my younger days, how I would go grab a beer when I have this lousy feeling or to hang out with the wrong company to find relief, it was a bad decision or choice end of the day.

I pray to God for mum speedy recovery and thank God for everything.