5 Am Wide Awake!
Been a tough day. Yesterday actually now that I look at the clock. Been up since around 10am yesterday morning and still awake now at 5.45am the following morning. Managed to work some earn some. Sleep patterns get all messed up with gambling. And its not just the gambling its what it does to your brain function and outlook on life which can be and is so destructive.
I am spending far too much time thinking about the past and what is lost that it is holding me back from trying to embrace any kind of future at the moment. The first rumblings of Christmas have already begun and I am dreading it!!! Another wasted year …. and then having to watch as the rest of the world goes nuts all for 1 day in the year.
First Xmas without our mum … spent last year with her. Maybe if I can manage it I will go someplace over that period. See my son or just take a long bus ride to no where in particular. Let us see what tomorrow (today) brings!!!