Gambling Therapy logo
#75058
flori
Participant

Thank you for your response. So much of what you said makes sense and I have already read it a few times over. I’m afraid my husband is in denial about his addiction and he feels like he has a “budget” to how much he can lose. Yet, I try to be cautious of how we spend money. There are so many times I want to go splurge on name brand things to kinda of get back at him. But Those things just don’t make me happy. I’m afraid I will hurt myself and kids in the end by “competing” with my husband. Two wrongs don’t make a right as they say. But my anger is only growing, as much as I get weak around him. My weakness comes from wanting to believe him and wanting to trust in our marriage and future. You are right, I just can’t give him an ultimatum because although this is a “big” problem, all around he’s a really decent giving person. The problem is if he’s not gambling he’s giving his money away, helping his family or someone in need. Which is good to some extent. But I keep reminding him that his kids and wife are his priority now and that our kids are too young to ask for things now but time will come where they will want and need things, ie…college funds. I have contemplated splitting all our accounts but I worry that he will run through his and then still come back to me and again I will have to be the one to help him bc he is the father of my children. I feel like there is no solution. Especially with his denials. If I caught him red handed, will that change anything? Will it make him think twice about gambling? I confronted him again and he blamed my mother putting things in my head. He blamed living where we live and moving back where we were. He claims he’s not happy here, maybe bc the close distance to the casino. But bc of this conflict I really don’t want to be far away from my immediate family from fear that he will abandon me and still find a way to gamble. I’m so sadden though because it’s even taking a toll on our intimate life and I’m worried eventually he or I will seek comfort or love outside. Right now I am cordial around him because I just can’t live in a hostile environment and let my kids witness that. He also knows me so well he knows that if he’s sweet I will come around so easily and sometimes I hate myself for it. Sorry I feel like I’m rambling, but I think if I could just figure out some kind of solution. Even if it’s not fixing him but fixing something myself. I know I can stand on my own two feet, but why should I have to raise these kids separate from their father. How do you know when a problem has gotta bad enough not to turn a blind eye? Or just enough to tolerate? I’m worried that it will get worse if I’m not proactive now. Again, he gambled before but I have never seen him like this for the past year and a half.