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Dear Momo

How good to hear from you again; I am not surprised that you are tired, you have had a real battle on your hands but wow – look at you now!

I don’t know that you can do much to prepare your son other than to carry on being honest and loving with him. I suspect that he takes his anger out on you because he can. It is good that he has at least seen that there are ‘mistakes’ in his father’s behaviour.

It’s a catch 22 situation, I think – we protect our children from confusion and misery only to find that they struggle with the truth when they are eventually able to receive it.

Your son is trying to weigh up what he is learning now against what he has perceived to be the truth, as he has been growing up. (I remember when I was 18, I thought I knew everything!). It is hard waiting for a child to untangle his emotions and in my opinion, the best way to cope is to keep being there, always ready to answer questions. If your husband is forcing his opinion that you are to blame, then I believe the best thing for you to do is to answer your son’s questions gently; simply; honestly and wait for them to percolate through his muddled mind. I am sure this is not being helped by having to share the same roof as your husband during a pandemic.

Trusting in a new relationship is difficult after the experience you have had and I am so pleased, therefore, that you are not denying yourself a chance for a better future with a man you love. I think that hopefully, with your experience, the right questions are being asked of your new relationship- the ones you never thought to ask all those years ago.

I am glad that you seem to have found a lawyer at last who would support you. How are your parents? Keep walking forward Momo, the light at the end of the tunnel is burning bright. Don’t be afraid.

I hope you will update again after the Hearing in 6 days, I will be thinking of you.

As Ever