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Hi Newshoulder,

An exercise that helped me a lot was the following:

Take 15 minutes to write how your future would look like in 3-5 years if you stopped doing all the stupid things you know you shouldn’t be doing. What would it look like? An honest person with a loving family who knows his conscience is clear? What kind of job are you doing? What kind of friends do you need/ have? Just the possible future that is within your grasp.

Now take 15 minutes to write about what kind of hell you would end up in if you don’t succeed, and keep doing the stupid things you know you shouldn’t be doing. Do you have any friends left? Is my family still with me? Do I still have a job? A home? A car?

This exercise might hurt in the short term but in the long term will give you a goal to run towards and a monster to run away from.

Don’t think: “I already know the hell, I went through it”

Just write it down. Knowing in your mind and writing it down are very very different things.

Oh and tell your wife about your relapse.

Short term It won’t be fun, but your conscience will thank you in the long term.