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#77810
hopelessdegenerate
Participant

also…. what great support you’ve found in here. All wonderful people who are fighting the same battle. I have read every single one of your comments to Murr, and really have found comfort in each and every one of your stories …

I want to comment on so many names in here- all positive and encouraging ..
But this is Murr’s thread. So all I will say is- Plaza is very correct about you having WAY TOO MUCH access to money.
Way too much right now. You can not be trusted Murr… at least not without a hell of a lot more work and clean time …

I don’t think anyone here with a minimum 4-6months time clean at least, can be trusted with access to cash. No way ….. me in particular. It’s too tempting ….
why do you give yourself that opportunity????

Just like self banning from the casino….
I did that too, Murr…. the lifetime one! Many years ago ….
did it stop me? Hell no.

The only time I am assured to stop is when the money is gone. Like… really gone….. meaning, not only what you really have …… but like after all the resources are sucked up too (ie: payday loans, credit card advances, overdraft, borrowing from friends/family, cashing out 401K, behind on rent/bills etc etc etc). That is the only time I am personally ASSURED to stop …

and that’s ok- because at least I’m not gambling.
Say I had 700 credit today as opposed to 500-
And got a $10K credit card/installment loan.. far more than enough to chase a little, right?

How good do you think I would feel 3weeks from now … with my current situation, compounded by this additional $10K credit line/installment loan that is MAXED OUT/ZERO BALANCE??
Not great at all.

I’m glad I have absolutely zero dollars to my name (overdrawn actually .. bills/rent due, and absolutely no lender/friend/family member to apply/ask for money …..
I’m glad because I would just gamble it away- giving myself “at least a chance” to “win” my money back …..

No thank you.
I need to be ASSURED that I can not gamble right now.

Murr.. you need to be ASSURED that you can not gamble anymore for a while …

Plaza is right.
You have always had way too much access to money. You need to give that liberty up, and I would suggest you give that ability to your parents …
they have been great and have stood by you, and want to see you get your life back ..
Involve them with this.
Have them pay your bills, and give you an allowance ..
Tell them how much money you have access to through your credit line, and multiple other resources you find …..

Like you are with us-
be transparent with them about how much you make, who and how much you owe, and where and how much access to cash you have …
Be honest with them.
Let them help you with this.
Make that decision to at least assure yourself your going in the right direction, to get your life back….
Get that momentum going, build off it … and allow the universe to show you a whole new beautiful world …

Stop the bleeding.
You’re young Murr.
You know all too well- how quickly and dramatically your life can get even WORSE- than the current ‘rock bottom’ you’re at today.

Very difficult to get $75K (?) back in one shot … right?
I know it’s possible …
but that would take a BIG bet, and an incredible amount of luck, right?

Well.. do you feel THAT lucky?
Possible to won $5K back right?
I know …
maybe even $10K!
That would be a nice chunk… at least a good start to your $75K debt, right?

Tell me this Murr….
would you be happy with $10K for the rest of your life, knowing that’s a great start to tackle your debt …

or would you eventually (if not immediately) go back, and try to turn that $10K into $75k?
Heck.. if you got to $75K…. this WHOLE thread …. ALL this pain, and time, and anguish would be worth it, right?

Murr it has to stop.
I promise you.. even if you one day MIRACULOUSLY get to $75K (because you are convinced that’s what you want, and that will solve everything) … you will not quit.
And in the back of your mind, you will think

‘hell I got back from $75K once- I WILL NEVER let it get to that point again, I’ll be careful this time. Now it’s my chance to be up…..! ‘

You wanted to be a millionaire, right?
Or at least rich..

Would you feel ‘rich’, if you “best case scenario” miraculously got your $75K back?
Or would your appetite for big wins just have increased .. along with your comfort level to make even bigger bets now (especially if you were down).

How much more can your heart/ soul take?
Do you keep going back just so you can wipe that $75K mess you made, clear… or at least a big chunk of it?

It’s gone Murr.
The $75K is gone.
And if you win $5-$10K… that will be gone eventually too, trying to get to $75K.
And if you MIRACULOUSLY get to $75K, with what little you have left …
well that $75K will eventually be lost too.

It’s never enough Murr.
Maybe all of our biggest weakness, that we don’t realize.
It’s never enough Murr…..

(I was FINALLY up, and in such a GREAT place… ZERO reason to gamble anymore, I did it! But I went back …. because it was simply not enough.)

It’s time Murr.
Stop going back.
You paid for a PHD in gambling…
you do not need any more education.
Consider it a GREAT DEAL for $75K….