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Made it through this morning. Closest I’ve came to gambling for a week. I thought about the possible outcomes of betting on the football.
Scenario A) I win and then go on a bigger session tonight.
Scenario B) I lose and then borrow the money I didn’t win to go on a bigger session tonight.
Either way I would have stopped posting here, retreated back into a cycle and my resolve would have been damaged.
It is so hard though when your first thought when you wake up is what gambling I can do today. Only then do you remember that you are trying to stop and I suppose the frustration builds day after day and you just get tired of fighting the urge to do what it is that your brain wants. The light at the end of the tunnel is that I remember not having these urges after my 3 month residential stay with GM so I have hard evidence that the urges do subside it’s just a struggle getting there. I think I’ll be OK for the rest of the weekend now and the week ahead. Hopefully next weekend will be a bit easier.