A great post Vera -you show great strength of character and stamina. The biggest lesson I learned on the residential is to have compassion for myself – for that person inside who wants to do the right thing , who never chose this addiction but who carries the pain , shame and stress it has caused.
An exercise I found really helpful was writing a compassionate letter to myself – it had to be kind and it had to be gentle. When I read it aloud some time later I realised it was the first time I had ever shown myself compassion, kindness or gentleness.
You will beat this Vera. Do all the things that worked for you before and then maybe add a few extra. A good extra I have added is to order a new bank card and get someone else to open the envelope and scratch off last three numbers before I had a chance to see it .
Keep strong. You have got this!